Dan's Room
The E-mails

Hi!

Following are some of the many e-mails we received from Dan's friends after his death. They are from the SW mud and the Sim groups and his friends he'd had for years on the internet that we never met or knew but who talked with our Dan every day!!! He loved the SW mud and the sims he was an active part of so very very much. They really were his life!!

Thank you for all your letters.

Love, Cathie (Dan's Mom)

Subject: Re: Mendak's passing on 4/13/98

First of all I would like to thank you for taking the time to inform all of us on the Internet, we really did care about him and internet people often ignore those relationships.

I don't even know where to start, but first I would like to send my condolences. Dan was truely a friend to all who knew him. He was a person who one could always go to for support, friendship, and guidance. Even when Dan wrote his section of fear.com, he was always funny, always the one to make a joke.

Whenever I think about him, a million memories come to mind. To all of us on the net, we were all touched by his presence. His caring but funny attitude was able to make all of our lives a bit happier. It seems like just yesterday he was helping people, asking if he could do anything, he truely never forgot about his friends. I had met Dan about 2 years ago I suppose, and he is a person that one can truely not forget. Dan will always stay close to heart to myself, and all of his friends I am sure... Please send my condolences to your family .... Thank you again..

Josh

Subject: The passing of your son.

May I tell you from the bottom of my heart that I am very sad at the passing of your son. You probably do not know me. I played on a MUD (a game on-line) that your son played on. When the mud found out about your son's death, the whole mud was shocked and horrified. Dan was a great player on the mud, a well-liked player. From what I know, he probably was like this in real life also. I wrote this letter to voice how sad I am on his passing. May God watch over Dan and your family in this horrible time.

Greg aka Genghis on the MUD.

Subject: My deepest sympathy

You don't know me, but I knew Dan from the internet, on the Star Wars game he loved to play. He knew me by my nickname, Jakko. I want you to know that I was proud to call Dan a friend, and enjoyed his presence on the internet. He was always helpful and went out of his way for me more than once. I and many others will miss him a great deal. You are in my prayers.

Sincerely, Jaska

Subject: Dan

I would just like to express my sorrow for your loss. Tho I only knew Dan from across the internet, I call him a close friend and will miss him. I've never been very good with words, but words can't really convey the feelings of losing a loved one. I can only try to comfort you by saying that Dan has gone to a bright home where grief cannot come.

John

Subject: Your Son

I'd like to give my condolences on the loss of your son, Dan. I knew him from Star Wars Mud and played with him there. He was well known and well liked there. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time of need.

Is there someplace I can send a donation to, in honor of Dan? I'd like to take up a collection from the Mud and send the proceeds to wherever you would like.

Please know that the players on the mud are very saddened by the loss of Dan, he will be missed.

Jill

Subject: Message from TBA Command

Official Subspace Message From Borderworld Alliance Command relayed to FDF Command via Senior Admiral Barlind

::salutes::

It is with great sadness that I write this mail. With the passing of Rear Admiral Mendak, you lost an influential officer, a leader and a good friend. While we may not have always agreed on Simming and it's politics, we never disagreed on the most important parts: we had the same outlook on life.

On behalf of the Command Staff of the BorderWorld Alliance, its senior staff and all of its officers, I would like to express our deepest sympathies and condolences at this tragic loss. Dan will always have a special place in my heart, and in the hearts of many others. All sims that will take place in TBA this week are dedicated to the memory of Rear Admiral Menkak of the First Defense Fleet. May his memory live in our hearts forever.

If the TBA can offer any assistance, please, do not hesitate to ask.

Signed,
Fleet Admiral Pooka
Senior Admiral Barlind
Senior Admiral Bowman
Senior Admiral Meowws
Senior Admiral Remus

Subject: Dan Knapp

I knew Dan for approximately 3 years, through the FDF and when we started playing Star Wars Mud together, I never really knew him well. he occasionally mentioned his life, and I knew about his Lung Transplant, and I feared that it was his lungs when he disappeared with no word for several days. I am extremely sorry, because whether we were mudding, simming, or just chatting about anything, Like Babylon 5 or Star Trek, we just had general good times. I cannot say much about Dan, rather than the fact that he was a good person, and didn't deserve what fate destined for him, but unfortunately it was. I don't know what religion he believed in, but whatever he believed or didn't believe in, I wish him well.

Subject: ...

I would encourage all of you to send your condolences to mendak's address in the mail.. It's rather hard to talk this, but I certainly know that he will be missed dearly by every person on this committee. He was a dedicated leader, and a overall great person. He has been with FDF since the beginning, He has worked with almost everyone in the fleet. I don't think any of us could of trusted anyone more. I do believe that he will certainly always be with us, and that we will not forget... Due to this recent occurrence, I am officially declaring tomorrow as a day of mourning for Mendak. I know Hawke will be updating the web pages, and I would also like to set up some type of gathering. It certainly seems appropriate for us to have some type of memorial for him... As far as when, we will have to decide that, I think this weekend may be good..? Again, further thoughts/plans will follow tonight.. Thank you all..

Josh

Dear Steve and Cathie Knapp,

Now I've talked with a few of his other friends, and none of them seem to have a picture of Dan. I don't want to impose, but whenever time permits and if you have scanner, I was hoping you could send one of us a picture of him that we can share. Like I mentioned before, we take these types of friendships for granted, and when your friend is gone, you have nothing but memories to remember him with. In FDF, we have declared April 13th a day of memory for Dan, however a picture will surely help keep the memories alive.

I can only imagine how hard this is for you, therefore my thoughts and prayers are for you and your family.
Sincerely, Dan

Subject: To Dan's parents

Hello,

I am one of the people who played at the mud where Dan played as well and I got to know him through that.

I remember when he told us all about going into the surgery. It sounded like a really drastic operation, so I was quite shocked. But Dan just smiled and shrugged it off and said it was no big deal. Then after a couple of weeks he came back to the mud and said he was feeling fine.

It really felt like he was capable of anything, sort of like a superman. I thought to myself "here's a guy who has brand new lungs, and he's like, it was nothing at all".

I think he didn't want any of us to worry about him too much. I really had no idea things had gone this bad in reality. He will be greatly missed by everybody at the mud. I am really sorry for your loss.

Sanna

Subject: Dan

I just wanted you to know how sorry I am to hear about Dan. Although it was just a game we tend to get attached to people on there as well. Dan was always very good to me and I think of him as my friend. I know this is hard but I want you to know that there isn't anyone on the game that isn't thinking of your loss. Our prayers are with you.

Krisanthia

Subject: I'm... sorry.

I'm so very sorry for the both of you for the loss of your son. He was the greatest person I'd ever met online and I was proud to have him as my commanding officer on two of my ships in the First Defense Fleet (I'm sure he told you all about it.) I'd like you to know that the thoughts of hundreds of people are with you. I'd also like to let you know that, with your permission, I am planning on holding a memorial service, with a military funeral, for Dan. I'd be honored if you and Mindi would be in attendance. I'd also like for any of Dan's friends who have Internet access to feel this is their invitation to show up as well. If this is acceptable to you, please reply to this, and I will set to work on the arrangements. It will truly be a ceremony worthy of such a man as Dan, who, while he was on the oxygen machine, never once mentioned said machine online despite the obvious pain he must have been in. Again, I'm truly sorry.

Captain Mark (Marko) of the First Defense Fleet

Subject: Dan

I was shocked when I read about Dan's Death on the Star Wars Mud news and I'm sure it shocked a great deal of others. I think that sometimes we get caught up in the game and forget that there are real life people attached to those characters. I have noticed though that Dan's death has brought about a closeness of friends on SWMud and I'm sure he is happy and smiling where he is now. I didn't know Dan real well, but I did talk to him on occasion and had once discussed a possible gathering of SW people in California, since I only live in Utah.

I wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about and praying for your family since I heard the news. I also wanted to thank you, Mrs. Knapp for your post on the Mud. It deeply touched me and I'm truly grateful that you wrote it. Dan will be missed, but a part of him will always live in our hearts.

Sincerely, Jami (also known as Alanna on SWMud)

Subject: Re: Dan

I would appreciate a picture, thank you. Your e-mail drove me to tears as I was reading it. I'll never forget Dan, he's had a strong impact on my life. I still remember when he first told me about his condition; I think I was more shaken hearing it than he was telling me.. God, it's hard to think that that was a year ago. I also happen to remember that he hated being called Danny, and he told me you called him that all the time. You'll have to excuse my sentence structure, I'm not exactly in top form while writing this. How's Mindi doing? I haven't talked to her in ages... Thanks, being able to write to you is really helping me.

Cole

Subject: A Friend...

I just wanted to mail you guys and see how things were since Dan's passing. You probably don't know me but I talked to Dan on the phone a number of times due to our closeness in distance. My friend Brad and I live in Carlsbad California, which I think is about 4 hours from Ojai (something like that) If we would have known he was at UCSD medical center I would have been right there to see him. We touched base a couple of times but never got around to meeting each other.

Dan was a great person who always knew how to make something funny. He could take the most serious bunch of people and have them on the floor laughing. He was just so, punctual. He was a great person who was always nice to the new people. I am sad to see him go and I assure you FDFnet will never be the same without him.

thanx, Russ

P.S. If it is anyway possible I will try to make it to his memorial service. I am only 15 and don't yet have a driver's licence yet so I will do what I can. Hope to see you there...

Subject: To the Knapps

Hi, my name is Brad. I just found about about Dan, and I just wanted to send my grievances. I'm terribly sorry. I used to talk to Dan for hours on the Internet a few years ago, and I considered him a friend. I always had hopes of meeting him in California one day if I ever made it there. He was a wonderful person, full of humor and intelligence and he had a big impact on my life. If you could let me know what happened or send me a picture of him or anything it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for you time, and my prayers are with you.

Brad Subject: Dan's departing

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Knapp,

My name is Christine, and I played on the SWmud internet game with your son Dan. My character's name is Luka. I'm sure he didn't talk about me, we weren't 'close' buddies, though we were on the same Imperial team and I thought alot of him. I've known him since before he got his lung transfusion last year, and I remember at that time praying for him and hoping he would be ok. I can say when I found out the news last week, i was stunned. I had thought he was doing good, and by your recent mail to the mud, I guess he thought so too. One reason I'm mailing you is I am also a mother. I have a 9 year old daughter, and I think it has hit me pretty hard that another parent lost their child. It sounds like you were really good parents and I'm sure cared for Dan as much as I care for my Andrea. My heart is truely with you, and I'm doing everything in my power (I'm now a wiz, admin on the game) to make Dan's memory stay alive, though I'm sure that wont be hard, he really has touched alot of people. We've made a garden, with a statue in his memory, and a wall for people to leave their final words for him, and a black arm band just to keep his presence fresh in our minds. While many think this is a game, and don't think of the people as real, it has filled a void in my life (I move around alot and don't have any close friends). We, (my husband and daughter) have met about 15 people from the game, all are people I'm very happy to call friends. Especially with Dan's illness, I'm very pleased we were able to fill a void in his life. Be it a social, mental, or physical hindrance you have, as long as you can log on, a whole new world where everyone is equal, no matter what their health is like.

I read you were going to send a picture of Dan, I think that is wonderful. I would like to even dedicate a page to him in our Game's webpage (with your permission of course) and his picture, or anything you'd like known about him I'd like to include. Perhaps even a link to CF (he had Cystic Fibrosis, right?) To educate me, and others on this illness which takes the life of children and many other people.

If for some reason, you don't have the time to scan his pic, I'd be happy to offer to do so for you.

Thank you for your time, I'm afraid California is very far away from Tennessee and unable to make his funeral, but my heart and prayers are with you.

Thank you for your time,

God Bless, Christine

Subject: Hello

I would have loved to have made Dan's memorial service but due to some of my own medical problems I was not able to. Dan was like a kid brother to me at times..He was so fun to pick on:) An he always gave me crap back..I remember our last conversation together an I think of it often..We were teasing each other. If ya need to talk Cathie or Steve feel free to email me.*gives you both a big hug*

Luckie, Diane

Subject: Re: Dan's memorial

I was happy to be able to attend Dan's memorial. The internet has the habit of uniting people over great distances, and I've generally taken it as a given that the faceless personalities with whom I associate are across the country or even across the world. I was shocked to find out that you live so near to me, and saddened by the timing of the discovery. Dan was a fun person to work with and play with. I never got the chance to learn much about Dan the Person since the game we shared is based more on our characters, but I feel I was able to learn a great deal about him by attending his memorial.

I have a request. If it wouldn't be too much to ask, I would be interested in reading some of his writing. I have been exposed to his talent in a limited sense. We were working together to design an area of the game and he was providing all the descriptions. But this didn't allow him a chance to write a running story. The poem read by his cousin was very funny and I'd love to see what else he came up with.

Jasen To Jason

Hi Jasen: Thank you so much for coming to Dan's memorial service on Saturday. I really can't tell you how much it meant to us to actually meet you....one of the people who played such a big part in our son's every day live. Again, if you only knew the joy and pleasure being online gave Daniel; it became such an important part of his life since school and socializing was denied him. Thank you thank you thank you with all my heart. Please stay in touch with us,ok?We turn Dan's computer on every morning to check email now. A friend put Dan's face (a pic of him on the beach in Hawaii...that one we email to you all)as the background. So,as soon as we turn on....he is right there in front of us. I love him and miss him so very much.

Thanks again, Cathie (Danny's mom)

Subject: Dan

Subject: Dan

I asked Sprynet to e-mail me the winning entries from their contest regarding how e-mail most touched your life. I was not prepared for the beautiful letter from you that I found posted there, submitted by your husband. What you wrote touched me very deeply. As I read, I found myself sobbing. I cried not only for the loss of one so young and with such a beautiful spirit, but also for the joy and the enthusiasm which Danny brought to life. I was especially touched because of my experience with a life threatening illness as a youngster. I was diagnosed at age 13 with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. I endured more than a year of chemotherapy, several surgeries, and months of agonizing pain. In 1974, not many children made it through cancer, but I was one of the lucky ones. I have had no sign of the illness since.

I wanted to encourage you in your project to put computers into hospitals for the children there to use. I think that would be such a wonderful gift and would certainly be a loving tribute to Danny's memory. I can only imagine how much the internet changed his life. Thinking back to my many months in the hospital, I would have loved to be able to have that kind of interaction with the outside world.

I also thought I might suggest another way that you could honor Danny's memory: you could share Danny's story with the world by establishing a web page devoted to his life. It would be very inspiring for people living with CF and other life-threatening illnesses to read about Danny. It would also serve to help those who have lost loved-ones (including yourself) to heal. You could include pictures of Danny, links to CF sites, organizations, information, etc. You might even include some of the e-mails you received from Danny's friends after he passed away. My suggestion is inspired by one such tribute a mother made to her young son Bill.