TIQ-Bits of Change V.8.
by Rene Duba
Please read copyright notice at the bottom.
I would like to invite you and everyone else to add to this list of TIQ-bits of Change. 'TIQ-bits' derives from the word 'tidbits'. 'TIQ' stands for 'Tremendous Interest Quotient'. TIQ-bits of Change are: 'interesting ideas on change in concise chunks'. A bit like quotes, but maybe more tantalizing (and maybe sounding somewhat less profound).
SCOPE of this TIQbits list:
1. Prerequisite of change
As part of the NLP process, if you will, a prerequisite would be to install the belief in the person that they are ultimately responsible for their healing and happiness. If this first step is not posssible, to continue would be fruitless. (Chris Regan)
Joseph O'Connor: "Some people may not have this belief, they may have the opposite - that the therapist has complete power and will effect the change. All they have to do is lie back and enjoy it. And they do change. So maybe we can streamline this and simply say that they have to believe that change is possible."
Rene Duba: "We might then say:
1. they have to believe that change is possible.
2. therapist and client must have the same theory about: from whom or from where change originates."
Patrick Merlevede disagrees with this last point. Counter examples shoot back and forth through overheated telephone wires. (see thread)
In the meanwhile Joseph adds: The congruence and belief of the operator is very important. Not only does the client have to believe the change is possible but so does the operator.
Patrick proposes the following conclusion: Therapist and "Patient" must have a COMPATIBLE theory about from whom or from where change originates.
2. The goal of therapy
no permission received yet...
3. The will to change
Monika: "... the effect of NLP (like any other therapeutic invention) depends on the will of the patient himself, to change AND if this change(s) can be harmoniously integrated into the rest of his life. (ecology-check)."
Rene: "Maybe I could add something too (if we keep this up, we might end up with
a little "shopping list for personal change"):
a. Person wants to change; (or in terms of parts: the part wanting the change remains dominant long enough to get its way)
b. Person has encountered the necessary mental/behavioural pathways for attaining the desired change.
c. Person can integrate the change harmoniously into his/her life.
4. Balancing Metaprograms
Peter: What is balancing the meta programs?
Thies: If somebody does something one way (MP time frame = past) the other one,
in a team perhaps, will do it the other way (MP time frame = future). One says
about their goal: Let's go someplace we never have been before. The other: Most
importantly this needs to be preserved here.
When it concerns an individual, the balancing part for you as therapist would be to assist your client to be able to think his goal in both fashions, conservative and progressive/visionary.
5. Broadening Model of the World
Dale Kirby sent this one, quoting Al Konigsfeld:
Broadening the clients model of the world involves helping the client access the other polarity of the metaprogram. One of my favorite patterns is a pacing and leading strategy called match-mismatch-match-lead. I will pace my clients statement by matching their metaprogram, will use a linking word, will mismatch their metaprogram, will use a linking word, will match their metaprogram, will use a linking word, then will remind them they can choose either.
For this technique to be effective, I must choose the metaprogram that is causing the problem in the first place. For example, I had a client who had the complex equivelence between making mistakes and being a failure. His language told me he had a very small chunk size. Too small a chunk size can prevent people from seeing the benifits of their mistakes. One of the sleight-of-mouth patterns that enlarges chunk size is "intent". My hope was that, by using a larger chunk size, he would be able to develop other meanings for mistakes. So I said, "So, how specificaly do you make mistakes (Chunk down sleight-of-mouth pattern to pace his small chunk metaprogram), and, if you know, (linking word) what benifits could making mistakes get for you? (Intent sleight-of-mouth pattern, phrased as a question to direct his mind to a bigger chunk size). I mean, how do you go about noticing your mistakes, (back to the pace) and how would you feel about having the choice to learn from them? (new meaning to the complex equivelence). All this was said by me without giving the client a chance to answer (as if you were rehersing a strategy). Just calibrate to make sure he is following. In order to follow the train of thought and answer the final question, he will have to allow himself to entertain the other polarity (a larger chunk size) of his meta program. (Al Konigsfeld)
6. LASTING change
Some people make a distinction between 'lasting change' and change that wears off after a while. "I'm looking for a LASTING change" is something one may often hear. A usefull reframe could be to ask:
"Would you rather have a TEMPORARY change that lasts as long as it is useful in your life, or rather a LASTING change that continues to last far beyond any limits of usefullness."
A second aspect is that 'change' is apparently seen as some (abstract or metaphorical) entity containing 'lastingness'. Permanence as a *property* of change, in other words. I find this metaphor especially unhelpfull.
(a little sidetrack here: To those who are able and tend to think in terms of
process, nominalizing is a great resource, for it speeds up talk.
Nominalizations are the ZIP-files of processes, so to speak. It may put those who do not translate it to process on the wrong track, however. That's the great (and maybe only) drawback. Those who don't automatically unpack it in their mind, take the filename for the contents and get themselves very confused in the end.)
b. Good Ecological checking - internally: integration with other strivings, motives, parts, ego-states, whatever. - externally: integration with other people (and their motives) and the world at large. - behaviourally: foreseeing the bumps on the road and being well-prepared.
c. Portability - Will the representations be regenerated every now and then? Will experiences of (intermediate) success feed into the outcome-representations? (operand conditioning). Will there be 'flow-experiences' along the way? (classical conditioning). Portability of Ecology-1: Has the client learned to avoid or deal with 'wear and tear' along the way? (immunity against- or dealing with negative operand conditioning). Portability of Ecology-2: Is the client able to apply the skills of Ecology (b) succesfully while underway?
7. A contribution by Keith Fail from the old days of strategies
It didn't arrive complete though, anyone has the complete item?
In the days when strategies were king, we had a model that said that every change was either one or a combination of the following:
I also have a separate model that says that for change to occur there must be a destablization period. This must be created by a perturbation stimulous that is stronger than the system's dampening circuits can smooth out. This creates a period of chaotic behavior. Out of this destablized state the change agent can guide reorganization of the generalizations and centers of contr
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