Well, I don't know where socks go when they disappear, but I think I may have figured out why they disappear. It is because they are trapped in a life of sin and depravity, devoid of morals. Yes, each time socks are washed and sorted, they end up with a new temporary mate. Some live a life of total depravity, unsorted and unmated, thrown together in a drawer until they are matched and mated by their master. Then, after they have been worn, they are thrown into a second den of depravity, the hamper.
Well, it's obvious that given such a life, they burn out and escape. So much for open marriages and mate swapping. How could this work for people, it won't even work with socks. Luckily, there is hope, and an alternative to this life of depravity.
Yes, I'm talking about sock rings, those little toothed rings of plastic that keep matched socks together for life. Men seem more inclined to become ordained as Lords of the Rings, but many women also choose this life path. Socks that have been matched, mated, and married in the eyes of their Lord and master never stray from their wedded bliss. Of course it is up to their Lord to put their ring back on after use.
Pantyhose have made the rings somewhat obsolete for women. You can't lose one leg of a "pair" of pantyhose, the waistband serves much like the plastic ring. There is still a need to match their tennis and knee-high socks, so there is the potential women's need for these rings. There isn't too much need for these rings with sexy decorated nylons, since it is unlikely the woman would own two similar pairs. And if the woman is into BandD, she can keep her nylons matched by keeping them attached to the requisite garter belt. (Ow!)
Ordination as a Lord of the Rings is a closed-end sort of deal, you can only marry a limited number of socks. Now, I have to advise you that this ordination is normally done through the mail, and there are those that will chafe at the thought of becoming a mail- order minister. But, it can be done for only $1.99, plus shipping and handling, and tax were applicable. You get a dozen rings, so you can marry 12 pairs of socks. And you can create your own ceremony.
Is it legal and moral to marry two male socks or two female socks? Well, probably not on those terms. If you think instead of two men's socks or two women's socks, the same-gender issue is less of an issue. Yes, I know that's really reaching, but this whole concept is a stretch of a perverse imagination.
Some will note that they can become ordained at drugstores. Well, this is true, drugstores carry these rings. But drugstores are not for Lords of the Rings. Drugstores are for cowboys.