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by Mark Hutchenreuther


MARK'S DRIVE-THROUGH CHRISTMAS TREE FARMS

FOR FOUR-WHEEL-DRIVE ENTHUSIASTS

CUT YOUR OWN TREE, WITHOUT LEAVING THE DISCOMFORT OF YOUR OFF-ROAD 4X4 VEHICLE!

Here are the answers to commonly asked questions:

Q: Do I need a 4x4 vehicle?
A: Yes, the fields are quite muddy at this time of the year here at Mark's Tree Farms.

Q: Can I pick out my tree?
A: Absolutely! Just drive around the field until you spot the tree that's right for you.

Q: How do I cut my tree?
A: A running start is best. Just back up a bit, pick a low gear, and head for your tree. The sharper your bumper or bumper guard, the cleaner the cut.

Q: How do I carry my tree home?
A: Easy! Your tree will be imbedded in your grill. There is no need for rope or straps. You will carry your tree home in it's natural upright position! When you get home, just pry it off.

Q: Aren't the trees damaged on the one side?
A: Certainly, but consider the advantages. With one side flattened, the tree can be placed close to the wall of your small living room. And you will only have to decorate three sides of the tree!

Q: What size are the trees?
A: The average tree is 8 feet tall, and the average 4x4 bumper height is 2.5 feet. So the average tree will be 5.5 feet tall.

Q. What do you charge for your trees?
A: Simple! We charge one low price of $55 for any tree. That's an average of only $10 per foot! And where else can you get such a rush from clipping off your own tree?

Q: How do I pay for my tree?
A: Just drive up to our drive-through check-out!

COMING SOON TO A LOCATION NEAR YOU!


Originally published in the December 1990 issue of Channel M, the newsletter of Channel Islands Mensa.