OVERALL CONCEPT: A band named "The White Middle Class Blues Band" would never quite make it -- racial overtones. But the idea is sound because of the beating the middle class is taking with respect to overall quality of life. When you are trying to buy a new middle- class car for less than $25,000 and looking for an under $250,000 first house, you have to roll your own sushi at home. Yuppies are fair game, we all relate to them, but none of us will admit to being one. The blues is associated with those that we now call "the homeless," yet times are hard for those of us with homes and jobs too. It's no wonder so many of us relate so well to the blues.
INSPIRATION: Janis Joplin, who sang, "Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz; my friends all drive Porsches, we must make amends..."
BAND MEMBERS: I envision a quintet -- drummer, lead guitar, keyboard, saxaphone, and lead singer.
BAND ATTIRE AND STAGE PROPS: This is not Elwood and Jake, but there must be uniforms. Appropriate attire would be light blue "alligator" shirts, 501's, blue Reebok's, fake Rolex watches, and big dark Rayban's. (Those $9.95 not-available-in-stores dark yellow "blue blockers" would be a bit too ironic.) Those who must sit should be seated in either Recaro automotive-style office chairs, or a new improved good-for-your-back chairs that you kneel in.
ELECTRONICS: Everything should be wireless. In place of stage monitors, each band member would wear Sony Walkman headsets plugged into FM radios broadcasting the actual mix. Two large speakers, arranged to look strangely like a giant headphone, would straddle the band and replace the wall of speakers. The lead singer's wireless mike would look like a cellular phone; in fact, use of this or another plastic cordless phone would add to the effect by degrading the vocal sound quality to a good grade of gravel. I also envision the audio technician sitting at a PC using a mouse or trackball to manipulate on-screen graphics to control the mix of each instrument.
INSTRUMENTS: These would all be electronic, a Casio or Yamaha keyboard, a Casio Digital Horn (electronic sax), a Casio Digital Guitar, Synsonics drums, and The Phone. Whatever they have on sale at Best...
THE LYRICS: Blues is short and rough. Yuppie blues must be somewhat different. It could best be described as "longer words and correct grammar," although I prefer the idea of "mellow heavy metal haiku."
EXAMPLES:
Traditional Blues: Yuppie Blues:
"My baby done left me." "My spouse is entering another relationship."
"I got drunk last night." "I consumed too many wine coolers
after tennis yesterday afternoon."
"I shot my baby." "In a fit of temporary insanity, I
fatally injured my significant other."
"She took my car." "I lost custody of my BMW."